I Don’t Talk Loud Enough to Be a Mom

Hi! Long time no see. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

Yep. That video sums it up. Granted, my kids are a little bit younger, but they’re already ignoring me. I go from cuddly/kissy mommy to angry “CAN’T YOU HEAR ME” monster in 3.2 seconds.

It’s just really frustrating. Super Nanny (the ever judging voice inside my head) says we’re supposed to have a authority voice, no yelling. Well, I try the authority voice. I try the sweet one. I try the funny one. Then I try the near-tears one. And then, as a last resort, I go to my signature going-out-of-my-mind/look-what-you’ve-done-to-me one.

I’m not saying my kids are like that ALL of the time. They can be wonderful. I think we’ve trained them on hugs and kisses pretty well. They’re very close, but that means that when they’re feeling naughty, they turn into a gang. As in I scold them, and they’ll look at each other and burst out laughing.

How can I win?? I mean, I’m glad for this camaraderie, but really, I’m outnumbered. Melissa and Andrew are growing more and more creative on ways to drive me crazy. This morning, after they woke me up with hugs (how sweet), they proceeded to throw play-doh into Holly’s crib AND pour sugar on the kitchen floor (they were trying to fill up a drinking cup – which doesn’t make it any better).

So, see. I had to go from nice mommy to sergeant before I’d even finished brushing my teeth. I literally ran around the house (apt) with foam in my mouth, trying to be fast enough so Holly wouldn’t eat the play-doh – and of course, VERY sternly put them in time outs (without being able to see each other, or else they’d still play at a distance). I nearly cried cleaning the sugary mess from the kitchen, then turned around to give them cereal for breakfast. Just another morning in my life.

Now gotta go, Holly just dumped the dirty clothes hamper over her head. Breathe in, breathe out.