It’s been pretty crazy lately. Since my last post, I have:
– entered “the school years” phase of motherhood (which I so love-hate);
– moved to a new place (BIG love-hate);
– worked more as a freelance writer (LOVE the writing, HATE that there’s no internet yet at the new place).
Needless to say, I’m dizzy. For awhile, I didn’t have any writing obligations, which felt both freeing and exasperating. I could work on my own stuff, but it’s not the same with someone expecting it from you. It’s tough, as a creative worker, to force yourself to stop creating and just. do. it.
I’ve missed blogging too! Funny how when I had all the time (and all the internet) available to blog, no idea seemed to come. Now that I have to escape to Starbucks for a few precious minutes (such as now), I’m itching with millions of thoughts for posts. I want to write about:
– my impressions of the new area, the new apartment, the new school (for the kids), the new hazelnut machiatto addiction (I’ve crossed over to the dark side and now order a grande, no more a tall!);
– my slooooow (VERY slow, but sure) deliverance from an out-of-control Cadbury bars addiction;
– updates on the kids, because everyday they do something post-worthy.
But first of all, I wanted to talk about the differences between writing for fun and writing for work. Since (as you can tell above) I’m a sucker for bullet points (not lists, just bullet points – I’m not organized enough to be a list maker on everyday life), here’s what stands out to me:
– When you write just for yourself, things can take much much longer, especially with so many other urgent things happening around you (see “Little Interrupters” link above);
– Being hired to write first feels amazing (somebody’s PAYING me to do what I love! Wooo hooo!!), then inevitably will feel like a chore. Because, you know, you can’t rush the muse. But if there’s a deadline, the muse must not only be rushed but brought back to life with shots of caffeine lol. One must write with a headache. One must write with 3 kids screaming. One must write not just because they’re being paid, but because they NEED to have such a wonderful duty and would probably die of depression if there were no more deadlines ever.
All that said, I’m grateful for both. Grateful for the obligation to go to a Barnes & Noble (oh, the horror), even if the computer screen does seem daunting, specially if I hadn’t had much sleep the night before. But I’m definitely also grateful for the little breaks in between deadlines, when I be even more present with the kids, and am able to daydream about whatever I want to daydream about. Don’t leave me in this daydream for too long, though – after a few days, somebody please MAKE me sit down on a chair and write.