Every year I tell myself, “never again.” Then a couple of days later I’m already planning the next one. What’s WRONG with me?? I’ve never been the “hostess with the mostess”. When we looked for a house, I didn’t even care much for an open kitchen, for the simple fact that I’m a mental wreck when I cook. The more people come in, the more I panic, realizing I can’t possibly carry on a conversation and know what I’m doing at the same time. I envy people who can do it, but that’s not me.
Why, then, do I insist in making stuff every time we have a birthday?? I sure do cook a lot for someone who doesn’t like to cook! This time I felt like I didn’t have much choice – both Melissa and Andrew have been having random allergic reactions, so I was afraid to just pick up any pre-packaged party food. The Brazilian Pastries were already approved – and plus, there was something meaningful about introducing a treat from my childhood into my kids’ lives.
Meaningful. I think that’s my problem. I’m too attached to the “meaning” of things. Food from the grocery store doesn’t have much meaning, does it? Even though we did get the ice cream cake from H-E-B – THANK GOD Melissa asked for it, or else I would’ve been stuck doing cupcakes too (we had a Walmart regular cake on her last birthday and it was meh).
There was one eye-opening moment, when I had to sit away from everybody to nurse, and realized people were still having fun. Surprise, surprise – I didn’t need to be running around like a crazy person for the party to function. I could just sit, breathe, and nurse.
That’s been another one of my problems: the misconception that I had to spend a whole party getting things done, fixing things, and of course looking like I was having a grand ol’ time, when I really wasn’t. Now I’ve learned that a BIG part of throwing a party is allowing myself to enjoy it. To stop obsessing. And to listen to my happy birthday girl, not nearly as shy as she was in other birthdays. As I worried if she’d freak out about kids playing with her toys, she came to me smiling and said, “I’m talking to my friends.” It made my day. I responded, “Yes, you do have a lot of friends.” And I couldn’t be prouder of well my Little Miss Social is growing up.